Secret Love Chapter One Ends

I rush into the ladies room and stare at my reflection. Standing in front of the mirror, I ready myself for a self-berating, reprimand session. “What are you doing? This is wrong.” I notice an elderly woman peeking out from one of the stalls. She gives me an awkward smile. I realize she heard my outburst. "Are you alright dear?" she asks. "I'm sorry. I'm... ah ... fine." I answer. 

She slowly walks out and washes her hands. As she walks towards the door, she turns to me and says, "If you don't mind a bit of advice from an old woman, don't be too hard on yourself. Every now and again, we have to listen to our hearts instead of our heads." She smiles sweetly and walks out of the restroom. 

I look back at my reflection and notice what I thought was a flustered look of panic, is actually a radiant glow. This glow only comes with excitement and intrigue. Just like these gnawing butterflies in my stomach. Simply put, my body has awakened.

This feeling brings to mind my childhood. Christmas Eve in bed staring at the ceiling but my body is not relaxed; every cell is tingling within me. I feel the blood and energy coursing through my veins. I lay there watching the clock waiting for the sun to come up. All I could think about was rushing down the stairs to see what awaited me under the tree. This is the feeling of pure, sheer excitement. It's a feeling that should always be in someone's life but it has escaped mine for years; until now. 

I take a deep breath and walk out of the restroom. Back at the table, I decide not to look directly into Terrance's eyes. I sit down while he asks, “How about lunch tomorrow ladies?” The question is directed to Ashley but he observes me from the corner of his eyes. “We never spend this much time when I’m all by myself,” Ashley teases, as she battles to put on her tight onyx leather jacket.  

Terrance reaches over and helps his struggling sister. "Stop messing with me. I want to make sure Miss Sierra experiences New York in all its glory," While her back is turned, he casual reaches inside his jacket and pulls out a business card.

We make our way to the front door. Terrance walks over to Ashley and gives her a bear hug. "Tomorrow sis," he smiles and turns to me. He takes my wrist and tickles my palm as he slips what I'm guessing is his business card into my hand. "Get some rest Sierra. I have plans for us," he whispers. As we walk out to the parking lot, I open my hand and see he wrote Text me, I want your number.

Inside Ashley's car I know I have to ask about Terrance's marriage. But how do I bring this up without sounding like I'm interested? I go back and forth in my head, playing out different opening lines and nothing sounds right. Then Ashley's blurts out, "I wish my brother wasn't married to such a royal bitch." Wow! Here we go. "Why do you say that?" I ask. 

"Nikki is the most unpleasant person to be around. I don't think she loves him. I think she loves the lifestyle he provides. It's like he's hostage in the marriage. She's threatened to take everything if he leaves." Ashley explains.

"But they don't have any kids. Why would it cost him so much to divorce her?" I ask. "Her Dad is the CEO of the company where he works. When Terrance spoke of divorce a couple of years ago, she promised to crush him and leave his broke down ass in the dirt. Those were her words - not mine. She's terrible and he's miserable. I hope he does cheats," she confesses.

My mouth dropped open. Did she just say that? "I know that sounds crazy but I don't know any other way for my brother to find any kind of happiness," Ashley reasons.

I look down at Terrance's business card still in my hand. Should I tell her what happened? Should I throw the card away and forget it happened? I know this is a problematic situation but his marriage is a farce and I finally feel alive again. I'm not sure if his lips were too enticing for me resist or the excitement took me over. I hate to think the vodka made me do. Regardless, I sent him a text - "tomorrow".

Funny thing about life, you can change the whole direction of it with just one flick of your finger.

Secret Love Chapter One - Continues

We enter Nobu Restaurant. The place evokes the beauty of the Japanese countryside with natural textures, birch trees, wood floors and a beautiful river stone wall. The place is chic, sexy and dark. The same way I like my men. We head straight to the bar. "You have to try the Pineapple Martini here, it's amazing," Ashley squeals. I could see Terrance already at the bar talking to the bartender. He looks more handsome then I remembered. He has the air of a self-assured man. A confident man is one of the sexist things to watch. 

In the past when I was a teenager, I always had a schoolgirl crush on him. I looked at him as an older distinguish man. The 12 year age difference seemed huge while in high school. As we walk closer to him, I think how those years mean nothing now. The man is fine. Were his lips always that full and juicy? "Terrence it's so good to see you," I say greeting him with a hug. "Look at you," he replies while his muscular arms pull my body closer into his firm chest. His soft lips lightly brushed against my ear. His mustache tickles my earlobe while his hot breath heats my neck as he growls into my ear.

A spark resonated throughout my entire body. Oh my God … my panties are wet. What’s my body doing? I pulled away with a jerk, alarmed by my body’s hedonistic response. He caught my wrist “Where are you going?” he asked with a smirk. I couldn't take my eyes off of his lips. I’m polarized. I spy him scanning my entire body. He starts with my freshly painted tangerine toes delicately exposed by my strappy stiletto heels. He moves his gaze up my bare legs and lingers his eyes on my exposed cleavage. 

I’ve never witnessed a man study my body so deliberately. I should be insulted but I’m not; I'm intrigued. Finally, he settles his line of vision into my honey brown eyes. “You’ve developed into quite a captivating woman," he said seductively. “Yow,” I yelped with excitement. Oh shit! I said that out loud and I'm smiling like a freak. “Ahem… ahh… hello, I'm here too. Remember me?” Ashley asks with attitude. Terrance releases my wrist and his entrancing gaze. I was thankful for both. “Sorry sis”, he said as he hugs her. “This way lovely ladies,” as he leads us to our table. Terrance guides me with his hand on the small of my back. His touch is firm but gentle. I didn’t realize how much I miss the touch of a man’s hands on my body. It‘s been almost two years since the separation from my husband and my celibacy began. The divorce has taken a toll on so many parts of my life.

Our night was full of laughter, drinking and occasional brushes of Terrance's hand on my leg under the tablecloth. With all the reminiscing our time together flew. We didn’t realize we had shut the place down, until our exhausted waiter came to the table for the fourth time trying to pick up the bill. “Which way to the ladies room?” Ashley asks. “Allow me to show you ma’am,” the waiter replies. Ashely follows the waiter to the back of the restaurant. 

Terrance lays his credit card inside the bill folder and watches Ashley until she walks out of sight. Then he turns to me and asks, “How good are you with keeping secrets?” I was afraid of the question. I grab my martini and finish the last swallow. “Umm... ok, I uh... suppose. Why?” I asks. Terrance leans in closer to me. “This whole night all I can think about is kissing your lips and I don't mean the ones that I am looking at,” he whispers. “Terrance you’re married. What are you thinking?” I bark. “Don't act like you don't like it," he says with a wicked smile. “I know you feel our connection. We have a lot in common. You’re not happy with your situation and I’m not either.” He moves in a little closer and softly caresses my arm. “Your skin is so soft,” he whispers. I shift my body further away from him. “I'm getting a divorce. You’re still married,” I reprimand him. He moves closer towards me. He touches the ends of my chestnut hair that cascades over my shoulders, barely skimming the top of my breasts. “That’s a detail you don’t need to worry about,” he consoles.

He stares in my eyes commanding my attention. He places his cupped hand under my chin and pulls my face closer to his. He softly kisses me. I didn't move. He pulls my body closer to him. He kisses me deeper. He wants me. I surrender to those damn lips. I kiss him back. His kiss refreshes me like an ice cold glass of lemonade on a hot July summer’s day. A tingle starts in my belly and runs throughout my entire body. My body feels alive and is in full control of its actions. No longer is it following the rules of my logical mind. Desire destroyed any boundaries that my cognitive thoughts would normally construct. I want him too. I want his hands all over me. I allow myself to lavishing in my desire. I don’t think about anything else. Until reality hits me like a punch to the stomach. I quickly recoil my body from his and hurl myself from the table. I rush to the restroom, trying not to look suspicious as I dart pass Ashley at the bathroom door.

Secret Love - Chapter One

It’s Tuesday morning and I’m riding on the Amtrak train from Los Angeles, bound to San Diego contemplating starting an affair with my best friend’s married brother. Wow! What a mouth full. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.

I hear a faint ringing sound and realize it's me. I quickly grab my Fendi Spy bag and rummage through it searching for my phone. I love this purse but everything falls to the bottom and dares me to find it. I look at the phone, it's him. As I'm about to answer, the phone slips out of my hand and falls to my lap. Shit! I quickly scoop it up and take a deep breath, “Hello,” saying in my sexiest tone. A man's voice says “Meet me at Asti on 5th Avenue and G Street at noon. Will you be on time?” he asks. “Yes,” I reply. “I'll be waiting Sierra.” The line goes dead. I drop the phone back into my vortex of a bag and gaze out the window.

My stomach is rumbling, it's twisting into knots. Can anyone else hear it. My heart is pounding like a judge's gavel and it feels like it will pop out of my chest. Can anyone tell what I'm about to do? A man sitting in front of me turns around and shoots annoyed glare. "You're hitting my seat," he snarls. I then realize I've been banging my foot against his seat from nervous energy, I can't sit still. "Sorry, I'm a little nervous," I confess. He forces a smile and turns around.

I look out the window watching the buildings and trees wiz by and I catch my reflection. The bags under my eyes are traveling with me today. Last night was restless - no sleep. This morning was anxious - no food. The minute I step off the train, I’ll transform myself into a sexy seductress. Or maybe, I'll just shoot for not looking so damn tired. This is a four hour train ride so I am forced to reflect on the events that brought me here. Things started so innocently about three months ago. I went back home to visit my best friend in New York to recharge my battery.

I maneuvered through the crowded JFK baggage claim area. It’s as challenging as shopping on Christmas Eve an hour before the store closes. I smile when the little girl rams into my thigh with her Hello Kitty backpack. I remain pleasant when the young mother pushing her baby stroller ran over my foot, narrowly ruining my favorite snake skin red bottoms. I say excuse me to all as I try to weave my way out of the airport, but to no avail. I was invisible, no one moved. Then it dawned on me, “Why am I being so polite? I’m in New York, my beloved home state and speaking your mind is expected here.” I adjust my tone and inflection for the east coast. In the most forceful voice I bark, “Move! Behind you.” The crowd parts like Moses controlling the Red Sea.
 
Once I step outside, the crisp October air kisses my face and welcomes me home. My eyes search around for my longtime friend of twenty years, Ashley Marcus. “Sierra, over here,” she calls. I turn and see Ashley smiling. I rush towards her with bags in tow and we hug. “I can't believe I’m here,” I smiled. “I’ve been so excited about you coming. I already planned your entire stay,” she laughs. “I'm so desperate for some fun. This divorce is wearing me out,” I say feeling overwhelmed. “Let’s drop your bags at my place. Terrance said he’ll take us out to dinner,” Ashley chuckles as she pops the trunk of her Porsche Boxster and places the bags inside. “Wow, you still have this car? Do you realize I haven’t seen your big brother since you got this car for graduation?” “She’s paid for and I still love her," she says while lovingly tapping the weather beaten car with deep affection. Speaking of paid, Terrance is quite the success story. He is now Senior Vice President of Marketing,” she boasts. “Wow! He really moved up the ranks,” I agree. We jumped into her car and after the second try; it starts. We drive off excited to get our evening started.